Decided just now to change my priorities — spiritual practice is now higher than building Streamful. This doesn’t mean I won’t keep working on it, but, it means I can’t do any coding until I have worked with my mind a little bit first.
Why?
Well — I had a panic attack last week for the first time in 3 years and it was NOT the result of intense meditation practice because, well, I haven’t been practicing intensely for 5 years or so. My anxiety level has been gradually increasing, though, and reached a tipping point.
So this told me it’s time to jump back in. But slowly. And carefully. And with intent.
My intent then — ramp back up slowly to reach the “right level” of practice such that it becomes a discipline (again). And the discipline is pointed towards my original mission: holding others in the cradle of lovingkindness so they can create the change the world desperately needs.
Can’t hold others if I can’t hold myself!
So what will I be doing?
Well I’m starting by reading “Mastering the Core Teachings of the Buddha” by Daniel M. Ingram. This is in stark contrast to what my path used to be — quite structured Vajrayana. His approach is still Buddhist but not quite the same — it’s more like unstructured Theravada. Rejects authority and secrecy altogether.
Kind of a breath of fresh air.
Anyway if the experiment is successful I suppose you might hear more!